Want to Stop Nagging your Kids?

Do you ever feel like you are being negative? As though you are constantly fighting with or nagging at your kids? Sometimes parenting is overwhelming especially when you are trying to manage difficult behaviour. Luckily, there are several effective strategies available for parents to try when dealing with disruptive behaviour, aggression, anger or if your child is having difficulty following rules. One strategy we like to teach parents to use is praise!

How and when to use praise effectively

Praise can be a very effective tool to use when trying to increase desirable behaviour. Most children respond well to praise and positive attention however you need to know when and how to use praise for it to be most helpful.

Try using, labeled praise! This type of praise is specific and tells your child exactly what you are praising. An example of using labelled praise would be “I like how you cleaned your room the first time I asked”. This statement is very clear to your child. It tells them what you are praising; you liked that they cleaned their room and even more so that you only had to ask once!

Many of us tend to use unlabeled praise when addressing our children’s behavior. We will say things like “you are a good kid” or “thank you for behaving so well”. While using unlabeled praise is kind and at times helpful it does not send a specific message about the desirable behaviour that you are trying to increase.

Praise children as soon as possible after the behaviour occurs. They will see this as an immediate reward and it will have the most impact.

Things to keep in mind when using praise:

• Consistency is key!
• Avoid accidentally criticizing while using praise: let’s use the example of the child cleaning their room. If this child does not usually clean their room the first time asked, the parent might feel temptation to say: “I like how you cleaned your room the first time I asked. Why can’t you do that every time?” This praise will not reward the child’s desirable behavior as effectively.
• Use enthusiasm! Try to avoid sounding rehearsed or robotic when praising your child. This can go along way toward rewarding your child’s desirable behavior.

If you are struggling with your child’s behaviour and looking for help, please give us a call. We can provide you with the parenting support you need to see your family thrive.